Handling unexpected body fluids is always a challenge with toddler twins.

Recently, I was getting my kids dressed after a morning bath when I heard the sound of liquid hitting the carpet. My mom instincts are pretty sharp by now–at least when it concerns fluids where there ought to be none–so I was quick enough to catch my son in the act, hanging out in front of his puzzle table just letting nature do its thing.

I got Justine dressed as quickly as possible, all the while watching the wet spot on the carpet sink deeper into the fibers. I started to dress Jayce next. Who knew if the little guy felt would feel the urge for an encore? I’d just about got the root issue addressed (or, in this case, dressed) when Justine discovered the wet spot on the carpet and started…dancing…through it.

It’s about this time I also noticed my own sock is wet and I don’t think that puzzle piece over there is damp from spit. I stripped off my socks, pulled Justine out of the pee spot, rinsed off the puzzle pieces, and hauled the kids downstairs. In my haste to get breakfast on the table so I could go back to clean the carpet, I flung a bowl of raisin bran across nearly the length of my kitchen.

Two cups of hot water and one tablespoon of white vinegar later (thank you, Google!), the pee emergency was over. I returned to the kitchen to deal with my raisin bran fumble. As I was working my way out of the breakfast and bran mess, Justine ran up and shouted over the sweeper, “Brother uh-oh!”

Not my favorite combination of words this morning! She led me to Jayce, who was 100% content playing with his truck in the hallway. She pointed at his snap-button pant legs.

“Brother pants broken!”

Jayce looked down and was immediately seized with what I can only believe was panic that his unbutton pant legs would disintegrate off his body at any moment. Justine skipped away, her work here done and trailing raisin bran bits all over the carpet. Meanwhile Jayce followed me and my bran-eating sweeper around the first floor, pointing down at his pants and shouting, “UH-OH! UH-OH!”

We did eventually resolve the raisin brain situation and also the pants failure. That puts the number of household emergencies I addressed before 10 am at three. Not our record by far, but possibly a record-holder in variety. When I informed Josiah that Mommy needed a lunch break with free refills, he packed us into the car and took us to Fazolis.

Toddler twins, man. They keep you moving!