Conversations and quotes from my posse of Library Rascals. I love them so much!

Me: Whoa, Conner, what’s the bat for?

Conner (age 11): To knock the fudge out of stuff.

Eleri (age 11, going on 21): I’m not worried. I have a lawyer. He’s the smartest kid in the fourth grade.

Eleri: Amanda, I’m here to show you my Valentine’s swag.

<plops box covered in cotton ball clouds onto desk>

Eleri: This is the candy I got from school. This is a card I got from a girl named Christina. I try to be friends with her, but sometimes she smells like a trash can.

Me: What’s that? <points to pink rubber duck>

Eleri: Oh that. That’s the rubber duck I got from Chad. I dated him in second grade, but then I had to cut him loose. I keep it around to remind me of the good times.

Eleri: Good news, kid. Your character is the main focus of the next chapter in my book.

Me: Are you going to have my character get married, to mimic my real life?

Elri: (scowling): No. I’m not putting HIM in my book. I refuse. And if I did, you wouldn’t like what happens to him.

Eleri: Here, I named this puppet after you. And I named this one after Cody. And this one after his fiancée.

Me: How come his fiancée makes it into the fantasyland but mine does not?

Eleri: Because I actually like her.

Me: You’re going to hurt my fiancee’s feelings.

Eleri: Good. Maybe he’ll go away.