Thursday, February 28th, 2019 – Evening

I write to report yet more grievances committed against my person. After being bundled into the horrid chair with restraining straps, my brother and I were carted off to an examination by our primary physician.

We suffered the customary indignities: stripped bare in a cold exam room; roughing up by clammy-hand nurses measuring our length, head, and body weight; and worst of all, injections into our upper legs in the name of preventative medicine.

I should like to plunge the needle in my choice of locale on the Staff and see what they think of such “prevention.”

The physician told them to observe my behavior. Apparently I am expected to smile at the fools any day now. Consequently, they have been continually in my personal space, grinning like a pair of demented Cheshires. 

The physician also said I might begin expanding my repertoire of verbal expression into rudimentary vowel sounds. The Woman was so delighted by this, she has not stopped shoving easy readers in my face and loudly repeating vowels as if I were hearing impaired. 

It is annoying, yet I am surprised to find myself also charmed. Somewhat. To humor them, I introduced a new sound today that excited them so much, the Man shouted for the Woman when he first heard it. She came running and they both stood with rapt attention, staring into my beautiful face.

I believe I have found a new way to maintain their attention.

Because the physician is a blabbermouth and can apparently keep nothing of her patient’s confident, she ended the interview with the advice to lay me on my backside and suspend objects of amusement above my head. This is meant to encourage me to swing my arms until I realize I control them and can reach for said objects.

I am perfectly well aware of this already. I merely lack the desire to do so at this time. Primarily because the moment I show signs of locomotive independence, the more will be expected of me. I will decide when I am ready to alleviate the burden of the Staff, and I shall not be rushed.

Inspired by the doctor’s advice, the Staff has furnished me with a new object of entertainment. I do not object. It has many dangling objects of varied size and texture with a round center which can spin, emit music, or blink with colored lights. This is an activity gym, according to the Staff. I will use it to keep them appeased enough to stay outside my personal space boundary.

Also, I rather fancy the blue elephant.

One must admit it has been a trying two weeks. It would be untruthful to avoid accepting at least a portion of responsibility for this. My brother and I have had much to say in the evenings as late. Most of it, we said loudly. 

I fear we may have crossed a line. The Staff was looking so haggard I began to question their ability to safely provide our care. Indeed, the more experienced cooing woman who bears significant resemblance to my full-time Woman is arriving at the house tomorrow morning. I understand she intends to stay for some time for the purpose of providing additional assistance.

Had I known that a couple weeks of strong complaint would be enough to supplant these amateurs with more experienced workers, I would have seen to this shortly after arriving.